You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
