i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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