I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
