READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
