You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
