Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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