I wish I could punch you in the face.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
