I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
