hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
