Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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