***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Enjoy the penises
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
