I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
