Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
420 ftw
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
