So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
