so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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