At least make sure they are 18
Why
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
