Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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