What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
