If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
