All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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