69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
