I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
