Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
