she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize