Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
where are my eyebrows?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
