oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
