Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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