btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
sarcasm needs its own font
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
