I want to make a zoo with you.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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