How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
