I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
