I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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