i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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