Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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