sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
