# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
