i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
