We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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