it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
smell my finger.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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