there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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