Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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