They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
