Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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