i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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