Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize