piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize