It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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