I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
