Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
