Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
