She's JV to your varsity
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
