dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
