I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize