U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
