Yo dont text me then not text me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
