they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
