she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
