just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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