Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Randomize
