never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize