Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This house was built for laser tag.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
