I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
