If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize