so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
