i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
